new layout

so this new layout... i like it.

i went to hannibal today, something that i am subjected to every major holiday, and several times inbetween. it's not that i dislike seeing my family, it's just that i hate that town. it is everything in the world that i have spent my life trying to get away from, it is a nightmare of a place to get stuck and not be able to get out. i am so, so thankful that my parents took us out of there.

i started running again yesterday, and it made me question why i took a week-long break. but first they had that concrete sidewalk up to the upper parking lot blocked off, so i kind of went on the grass on the edge, but i got attacked by branches and stuff and it was not fun. and then, i went to cut through by the fartlek field to get back up to the flag pole, and they still had that blocked off. but i didn't see anybody, so i ducked under and tried to get through, when i discovered that what i had mistaken for mud was really "i'm going to eat you alive" mud. the kind that you just sink into and it makes a horribly disgusting noise when you pry your shoes from its grasp. and there were geese that did not like my presense, and when i tried to run away, they kind of stared honking and chasing me. but they didn't keep that up for long. so i finally got done, and my sparkly white shoes are no longer white and sparkly, and my legs were drenched with mud and dirt and sand. it felt like cross country again.

pablo

so emily gave me "marley and me" for christmas, and i dug into it as soon as the wrapping paper and those ridiculous bows she insisted on putting on every freaking present were cleared away. and it was amazing. i started to fall for this dog (not in a creepy way) and i just loved him. marley is messed up. he eats walls and doors and doesn't do anything right. but did that make his owners love him any less? no. because a lot of people would have just given him to the pound. but he's a pet. and pets are forever. you can't take back kids, so why would you a dog? it really made me think about how much a part of the family pablo is.

so here it is, an entire post dedicated to my very special little four legged friend, because no one ever sees him because he's so special, so no one really knows much about the mysterious pablo.

i remember when we got him. there were people down the street with an adorable little chiuiuia (we've had him forever and i still can't spell that) and we wanted him so we just went. and he was this tiny little ball of fluff with deep eyes that pleaded with us to take him home. and we did. he had a hard time adjusting, and we soon realized just how important it was for him to be taken away from his old owners. whennever he saw his old owner, he tucked his tail between his legs and hung his head and tried to hide. he was terrified of doorways and garages. it didn't take long for us to realize that those bastards had abused him. so that's why he's so crazy and unstable, because he had a really traumatic puppyhood. we talked to a dog physcologist, who told us to imagine as though someone had beat us everyday until the age of five. that's how it was for pablo.

and he's still crazy, though he has gotten better. he hates strangers, though he kinds of warms up to them after a while. katie and carrie have been granted to honor of him allowing them to pet him and sat on katie's lap for a while. but he used to be a lot worse, so he's better now. he likes all of my dad's brothers, save for the only one that really wants the pablo approval.

but while he barks and freaks out at everyone else, he doesn't act like that to us. when it's just us at home, that dog is amazingly adorable. his energy has diminshed over the years, but he still leaves scuff marks on the carpet (not like scuff marks scuff marks, just when like the carpet turns a darked color because you messed with it or something and if you touch it it changes... i don't know) by sprinting everywhere when he's hyper. and when you're sick, he will plop himself down right next to you and lick you and he puts his ears back like he feels sorry for you. it's just adorable. in the morning, he gets really excited to see you and jumps up and down and when you sit down he gets on your lap and puts his face right up next to your face and licks you and is just genuinely happy to see you. he's always so freaking cute. when you pet him and stop, he puts his head under your hand and kind of flips it up to get you to keep going. he sits in your lap and just up with you and actually grins (no kidding, he does this smile thing. it's weird.) and then throws his head down on your shoulder.

seriously. how cute is he?!

and marley and me really made me think about this. the entire book is basically about marley the dog, and about how pets are pets forever and how much dogs impact your life. and it's such an amazing book that if you read it and it doesn't make you stop and think for like, ever, about how much you love your dog then you're crazy.

it's also one of the saddest books i've ever read (and that's no spoiler because every single review will tell you that). i was sobbing. and i just don't do that. some books make me tear up, some make legit water come out of my eyes, but this one made me have to put it down and get tissues and stop and just sob. when makes me love it so much more. truly amazing book.

so now i'm excited to watch the movie.

I JUST CAN'T CONTAIN THE EXCITMENT

ok. so the other night i had this freaking amazingly detailed dream. and i woke up like "woah what the hell" and immediately typed out what happened in the dream on my phone. and somehow it's formulated itself into a novel idea.
and wow.
it's different, something that my consious mind probably would not be able to cook up. but i like it. a lot. in fact, i've been disloyal to my nano and have started writing this one, because the feelings of the dream are still fresh in my mind and i'm just so excited.
i can't wait until finals are over to get to work on this; i am seriously jumping up and down with anticipation.

and because something special is in two hours and five minutes....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRIE!
i am making it my mission tomorrow morning to hunt clark down and tell him to wish you a happy birthday. i'll give him your phone number and have him call you, and tell him that he needs to drop by the party. i'm actually pretty excited for this. and if i actually do catch him, and he does have some interaction with you because of it, you owe me. big time.

general end of the year note

While normally I put out an end of the year email, I'd rather just put it here this year. But this isn't the post where I'm going to do that. No, I'm much too lazy.

But, instead, I have a few general notes about finals and school and Christmas.

Finals:
History:
Holy crap. I nearly died over studying for history. A combined nine or ten hours, not counting looking back over stuff at every free moment I had. And am I happy with my B? Not at all. I'm angry with myself and I wish I had worked harder over the course of the semester. But that's alright, I'll take it because it's not a C.

English:
So. Easy. 132/140? Hell yes! I'm really happy with this, and I kind of crammed about forty words into my head the night before with a million memory devices.

Newspaper:
Really, Sonius? Really? Easy. I finished a hundred questions in about a half hour or forty five minutes.

Alg 2/Trig:
Not overly worried. I don't think there's any possible way for me to get an A, but I'll deal with that. I can get a C to still get a B in the class, though, and with my math skillz, I'll probably need that option.

Biology:
Yeah. Not worried. At all.

Personal Finance:
Some people have called it easy. Some called it hard. I don't know. But I think I'm fine in there. Besides, Mrs. Scott likes me, so I think she'd help me get an A if it came to that.

Spanish:
LOLOLOLOLOLOL.

I am so ready for break and Christmas. Emily and I spent three and a half hours wrapping last night and my mom is getting really annoying with talking about how she wants one of the things that she got me and it's really driving me crazy. But I love Christmas. Not because of presents, but it's just this big happy holiday where everyone (in my family, at least) stops to think about what it means. And the lights are pretty and the food is good and everything's just so bubbly. I love Christmas.

So last night, I got a running jacket that is an odd green color but I like it because it's different, and a hat with ear flaps that don't have the little danglies, because those just look really annoying. So I will be warm when I finally convince myself to run.

delayed nano euphoria and i am so tired

oh my god. it just hit me. it took forever, but it finally sunk in that i won nano. i have opened my manuscript for the first time since last week, and i took one look and just... freaked out. screaming included. i was excited when i won, but not really. i kind of just felt relieved. but now... yeah, i get it.

today's been pretty eventful. i'd like to say that i am DONE with christmas shopping... except for my dad. he's so difficult. but that means that presents for my friends and my mom and my sister are all safely upstairs, tucked away in a corner where no one can see them.

also, i got new running shoes :D they are be-oooot-iful. brooks adreniline. yeah, google them. ("adreniline rush... you can google it..." oh, crappypatty. you're still crappy). YAY. i've needed new ones for a while, and i'm pretty freaking happy.

my computer fucking hates me. i can't get online anymore, and my dad's just given up becaues it's just... ugh. at least i had it for a while (um, a week lol) but my mom was saying that before i basically stole it from carrie they were considering a shiny laptop christmas present....

i. hate. the. english. revision. i'm doing lotf over again, and i'm just... pissed. very very pissed. how the hell are you supposed to get TWO clear points across?! it's stupid to put your opinion together with how the author sees it, and have to have seperate things and quotes proving his thoughts and just... no.

i am so tired. i got up way too early for a weekend and i'm happy, yet mad, yet... tired.